


Holding Out For A Clue

by jstonedd



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/F, Fluff, Humor, some good old fashioned pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-01
Updated: 2017-05-01
Packaged: 2018-10-26 09:30:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,873
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10784109
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jstonedd/pseuds/jstonedd
Summary: So Lena decided to keep doing what she already excelled at doing; stare at Kara longingly in the hopes that one day the other woman might notice and do something about it.





	Holding Out For A Clue

**Author's Note:**

> here for the intense stares for which there are no heterosexual explanations

 

 

Lena Luthor wasn’t someone that people would ever associate with the idea of yearning. Whatever she wanted, she got it and whatever she dreamed of, she achieved it. There was no goal too far and no dream too big, just a matter of motivation and ambition. And Lena had a lot of both.

Unless it was about Kara Danvers. A person Lena very much wanted and dreamed a lot of. And she suddenly found herself at a loss about what to do.

She tried making a strategy plan as she always did when there was some specific goal she wanted to achieve. Whether it be in finance or investment or just a simple grocery list, strategy plans always helped her to clear up a path she needed to take.

But as soon as the tip of her pen touched the paper, her mind was wiped blank. What was even the goal? Get a date with Kara Danvers? That wasn’t enough. Become Kara’s girlfriend? Still not enough. Marry her? Maybe a bit too far outside the plannable.

Lena gave up. She wasn’t a teenager anymore, any attempt to write down a serious plan to get her crush to notice her was just ridiculous and if it was ever found out, she’d rather voluntarily jump from her office balcony than be faced with the aftermath.

So she decided to keep doing what she already excelled at doing; stare at Kara longingly in the hopes that one day the other woman might notice and do something about it. She didn’t even have to return her feelings. A rejection might end this silly infatuation Lena had for good and she could finally concentrate on her job again. Or that was what she told herself. She wouldn’t know, she had never faced rejection before. And she hoped she would never have to.

 

\--

 

“Hi, I’m Kara-“

“Danvers, here for Miss Luthor.” Without averting her eyes from the computer screen, Jess continued typing on the keyboard. “You don’t need to introduce yourself every time you visit.”

Kara smiled nervously. “I wasn’t sure if you would remember me…”

At that, Jess looked up at her with an incredulous stare. “How can I not remember someone who has the exclusive right to walk into Miss Luthor’s office whenever they please?”

“Yeah, well, maybe there are others-“

“There are no others,” Jess said with emphasis, her eyes piercing Kara’s with a message that the blonde woman didn’t get.

“Oh, okay,” Kara said with a bright smile, showing her dimples that Jess would have found cute if they weren’t on someone so clueless and dense. “Anyway, I brought donuts. You should have some, they’re the best in town-“

“I’m on a diet.”

Kara furrowed her brows. “Oh. Then what do I do with these cinnamon flavored ones…”

“I was on a diet. Now give me that.” Jess took a big bite of the donut and almost felt no regret at seeing all the crumbs raining down on her keyboard. “Danvers, you won this time but don’t think I don’t know what you’re doing.”

“Um,” Kara tilted her head, “what is it that I’m doing?”

Jess contemplated explaining but her mouth was full of delicious goodness and she couldn’t handle another second of those innocent blue eyes looking at her. So wide open and pure, gazing straight through her heart that for one second, Jess forgot to chew and almost choked when she tried swallowing.

“Are you okay?” Kara was immediately by her side, patting her on the back.

“I’m fine,” Jess pressed out, coughing, “I’m fine. You can stop touching me now. Gosh, you need to stop touching me, I really don’t need this kind of confusion right now.”

Bewildered, Kara retreated. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

“Just go in,” Jess sighed, gesturing to Lena’s office. “She’s going to be happy to see you.”

Kara’s expression brightened at the thought of getting to see Lena. “I’m going to leave some of these donuts for you. Bye!”

Jess watched the other woman march towards the office with a feathery light spring to her steps. Suppressing an amused snort, the secretary picked up another donut from the box and unceremoniously shoved it inside her mouth. It tasted as sweet as Kara Danvers’ smile upon seeing Lena Luthor. Jess almost gagged again.

 

\--

 

“Hi, Lena!”

“Kara.”

Lena could feel her mouth curling up into a big smile despite her brain repeatedly telling her facial muscles not to seem overly eager. It was useless, her body was already acting on its own; her arms automatically reached out for a hug and her legs walked her over to Kara. Just after a second her head had explicitly ordered not to seem desperate, Lena was already hugging Kara, her entire body aligned with the other woman.

But a hug was still within the normal. As long as her hands wouldn’t start to wander.

And as if her body was doing everything to expose her feelings, one hand slid down Kara’s back until it came to a stop on her lower back

“It’s so good to see you,” Lena mumbled, closing her eyes for a short moment.

“Yeah,” Kara shakily exhaled, squeezing Lena in response.

They weren’t sure how long a hug was supposed to be before it became inappropriate. Maybe there was no such thing as an inappropriate hug.

“So,” Kara reluctantly pulled back first because she still had a box of donuts in her hand which would make long time hugs awkward. “I brought you some pick-me-up.”

“Oh?” Lena’s eyes twinkled. “And here I thought _you_ would be my pick-me-up?”

“Ha,” Kara laughed, louder than it was necessary, cheeks reddening, “sadly, no. Though I _would_ be able pick you up.”

“Hm,” Lena hummed playfully, “you work out?”

“I do,” Kara confidently said, puffing out her chest as if it would prove her physical fitness. “I could bench twice your weight with just one finger.” She looked almost proud when she remembered that she had an identity to hide. “Just kidding, of course.”

Lena smirked in her direction. “My, are you trying to impress me by bragging about your strength? How very caveman of you.”

Despite being slightly embarrassed, Kara laughed and played along. “Well, I certainly can’t top your intellect, so I need to find something else to impress you with.”

“You undersell yourself,” Lena said with a frown as she poured Kara a glass of water. “Intelligence comes in many forms and none of them are any indication on the value of your character.”

And as Kara dazedly accepted the water with a quiet ‘thanks’, she was reminded of why her heart had chosen to fall in love with Lena. A good choice, if she could say so herself, if it weren’t for the anxiety-inducing possibility of rejection.

“So, about the donuts?” Lena inquired when Kara seemed lost in thoughts.

“Oh, yeah, here you go,” Kara almost shoved the box in Lena’s face in nervousness. “Your favorite.”

Lena accepted the food with a gracious smile. “Second favorite. My absolute favorite would be you.” It wasn’t said without a color change on her cheeks, but it was nothing compared to the blush on Kara’s face.

“Aw, stop it,” Kara waved her off with a delighted grin, ducking her head, “you must say that to everyone who brings you donuts.”

Pretending to think about it, Lena replied slowly, “True. But you’re the only one who’s ever brought me donuts, so…”

“Really?” Kara looked both troubled and smug at that fact. “I’ll make sure to bring you loads in the future, too. So I will stay your favorite.”

“Won’t be hard to manage.” Kara could have brought her the nastiest smelling anchovies in the world and she would have still been Lena’s favorite everything.

“But aside from donuts, you have been eating regularly, right?” Kara asked with a stern look. She scanned Lena’s face for any sign of exhaustion.

Kara’s intense gazes were the only kind of looks that Lena enjoyed having on her, feeling herself almost bathing in the attention. She flipped her hair over her shoulder, exposing some of her neck. “Yes, Kara. I can take care of myself.”

Swallowing, Kara pulled her gaze from Lena’s face. “I know that. It’s just, sometimes you get so lost in your work, you forget the important things-“

“And that’s why I’ve got you to remind me,” Lena said softly.

“Yeah,” Kara breathed out, shyly looking up. “I’ll always be here if you need me. And even if you don’t, I’ll still come around because…I might need you too.”

Lena’s mouth opened, but no sound came out. Her heart might have stopped beating.

Being needed was a concept that Lena wasn’t familiar with. Her family certainly never needed her. And she had never understood why some people would want that feeling, to have someone depend or rely on them; she didn’t want that kind of burden. But now she realized that with the right person, it wasn’t a burden. It was a privilege.

“You can…you can come any time, Kara. Work-related or not. I’ll always try to make time for you.”

Kara’s bright smile was contagious; Lena didn’t think her own lips were used to so much stretching from stupidly smiling.

“Even when you’re in the middle of a meeting?” Kara playfully asked.

“Especially when I’m in the middle of meeting,” Lena replied with a nod. “Power assertion. They can’t continue a meeting without me and they know it.”

Kara blinked at her in wonder like she was seeing her for the first time, which made Lena squirm a bit because she couldn’t tell if it was a good sign or not.

“You do that? I mean, do you sometimes do stuff like this? Tactical power assertion and whatnot,” the blonde asked, voice trembling with curiosity and awe.

Lena chuckled lowly and nodded. “It’s a game I have to play if I want to win. You don’t know how many men have tried to do the same to me.”

“That’s just…awful,” Kara muttered, frowning. She fidgeted with her hands. “I wish there was something I could do to help, to change how people perceive you-“

“You’re doing plenty,” Lena gently interrupted, “you already flatter me so much in your articles.”

“But it’s not enough!” Kara huffed. “I want them to stop treating you like you’re…like you’re anything less than wonderful, amazing, inspiring and…” She trailed off when she realized that she was about to ramble on about how perfect Lena was. “You know, anything less than the real you,” she finished slowly and looked down on her shoes.

Lena didn’t mean to, her hand flew to her chest and grabbed the fabric of her dress for dear life. “Oh, Kara…” It was a fond, sweet whisper and Kara slowly looked up again.

“You’re too good to me,” Lena breathlessly laughed and she engulfed Kara in a warm hug, slinging her arms around the blonde’s neck. “What did I do to deserve you?”

Kara leaned into the touch and hugged Lena around her waist. “You don’t need to do anything. Just keep being you. And you deserve the best.”

If Kara wasn’t so focused on keeping her emotions in check, she would have noticed the loud, irregular pounding of Lena’s heart.

 

\--

 

“You know what I don’t get, Supergirl?”

“The laws?”

“No, not that,” the criminal huffed, not resisting as his hands were handcuffed behind his back. “Like, why are you wearing a skirt? It has no practical function at all, has it? In fact, your skirt as well as that cape are actually the opposite of practical, you could get stuck in random shit and your enemies could get an easier grasp on you. And really, a red cape? That’s like, stealth level zero.”

Kara furrowed her brows. He did have a point. “It is kind of noticeable…”

“Right? Don’t you ever stumble on your cape? I bet it’s already hit you in the face like at least once.” The arrested criminal looked over his shoulder at Supergirl. “I mean, sure, it adds some superhero flavor, but really, it’s inconvenient. Just like that skirt. Like you’re trying to emphasize that you’re the female version of Superman. And why aren’t you called Superwoman anyway, you’re not a teenager anymore, are you? Is it because ‘girl’ sounds more attractive?”

When Kara didn’t have an answer, the criminal nodded to himself. “Yeah, just like I guessed. You never really gave this costume or name a lot of thought, did you? People just labeled you and made you who you are, and you accepted it.”

“I’m not-“

“Authentic. That’s what’s missing. Just because you’re Superman’s cousin doesn’t mean you need to copy everything off him. Be your own goddamn hero, ya know?”

“Okay, that’s enough,” Kara said sharply. “I’m taking you to the next closest precinct.”

“Just think about it,” the man calmly said. “People are always going to think that you’re inferior to Superman because he existed first. He had time to establish himself. And then you came, taking over the same crest and costume and a slightly altered name. You sound like a cheap knock-off.”

“I’m not listening anymore.”

“It’s because no one likes to hear the truth. Listen, I’m not your enemy - hell, I’m not even mad you caught me. I’m just a dad who’s trying to bring food on the table and I’m not proud of how I do it, but it’s the only way I know how to. People have already labeled me into a thug and even when I want to make an honest living, no one wants to give me a try.”

His voice was one of resignation and it almost broke Kara’s heart. “But you’re different. You’ve got all these insane abilities; you don’t need to listen to anyone. You can start being someone you defined yourself. Don’t waste that opportunity or you’ll always stay in Superman’s shadows.”

“I’m not in his shadows-“

“But you’re not independent from him either. When they introduce you, they always introduce him first.” He stared deep into her eyes. It was almost hypnotizing, the way he didn't falter. “Tell me, is that how you want to be known as for the rest of your life? As Superman’s cousin?”

Kara turned her face away, staying silent.

“That is all I’ve wanted to say. You can take me to the precinct now.”

 

\--

 

Lena knew that from a rational view, there was absolutely no reason to be nervous about knocking on a door that would lead to friend’s apartment, especially not if said friend had given her an invitation to visit her.

But here she was, standing in front of Kara Danvers’ apartment door, unmoving. Maybe, if she stared at it hard enough, it would open by itself.

The door flung open and Lena flinched, eyes widening. Did her thoughts-?

“Hey, Lena,” Kara cheerfully greeted her, pulling Lena inside her apartment. “I could hear you standing outside.”

“You could hear me standing?” Lena asked, incredulous.

“I- I mean,” Kara got flustered, “I heard your footsteps before that. With you wearing heels and all.”

“Right,” Lena muttered. “You heard me coming and you let me stand outside for minutes?”

“Well,” Kara slowly said, eyes slightly widening as if she hadn’t known that, “I wanted you to be ready on your own terms. But when you took longer than expected, I needed to check if everything was okay.”

“Right.” Lena placed her handbag on the kitchen counter. “Kara, can I ask you something?”

“Sure,” Kara breathed, chuckling nervously, “anything.”

“So,” Lena took out her phone from her handbag, fiddling with it, “you know you’re the closest friend I’ve ever had and…oops!” Her phone slipped through her fingers and she half-heartedly reached after it, but she was too slow.

Unlike Kara, who managed to catch it before the edge of the phone could collide with the floor.

Silence followed in which Kara slowly straightened herself, avoiding Lena's eyes as she held out the phone for her.

Lena took her phone with a widening smile, pretending that nothing out of the ordinary had happened. “Where was I? Ah, like I said - you’re the closest friend I’ve ever had, and I understand if you can’t tell me everything. But I just want you to know that whatever secret you might have, no matter how big it is, you can trust me.”

“I – I know that, I would never lie – I mean, I don’t like lying –“

“Then don’t,” Lena softly suggested. She moved around the kitchen counter, pulled out a drawer with cutlery inside and grabbed a knife.

“L-Lena?” Kara stuttered, taking a step back from a predatory looking Lena. “What are you doing?”

“I saw that you have some apples.” Lena inspected the glinting blade. “I’m in the mood for one right now. Do you mind if I peel one?”

“N-no?”

“Thank you. Could you hand me one? Please?” And Lena batted her eyelashes.

“Sure,” Kara breathed out, fumbling for an apple inside her fruit bowl. “Here you g-“ Her words got stuck in her throat when Lena suddenly brought the knife down on her hand that was holding the apple, watching the blade deform when it couldn’t pierce through her skin.

“Oops,” Lena whispered without the hint of an apology, holding up the knife that was bent sideways at the tip. “Must have missed the apple. But now I wonder, just how hard is your skin?”

“Ha! What are you talking about,” Kara burst out in fake laughter, panic clouding her mind. “That’s a fake rubber knife-“

“Sterling silver knife. But maybe I’m wrong, maybe you’ve been conned and they really sold you a cheap rubber knife…I guess I’ll have to test it on myself.” And Lena raised the knife once more, aiming for her own hand.

“Wait!” Kara caught Lena’s wrist. “Don’t – don’t do that.”

“Why not?” Lena innocently asked, raising a brow. “If it’s just rubber?”

“It’s…not…rubber…” Kara’s voice became lower and lower.

“Really?” Lena said in mock surprise. “Then, can you explain what your skin did?”

“It’s…” Kara swallowed and let out a deep sigh. “Lena, I’m so sorry, I wanted to tell you, I really did but-“ She trailed off, at a loss for words. She avoided Lena’s eyes. “I do trust you. I just…I tried to keep it simple because I didn’t want you to worry.”

Lena’s gaze softened and she carefully took Kara’s hand, closing her fingers around hers. “Hey,” she whispered, searching for Kara’s gaze, “there’s nothing you need to be sorry about. I understand your reasons for keeping it a secret. I just thought-“ Lena swallowed her words. “No, I was just selfish.”

“Selfish? Why would that be selfish?”

“Because maybe,” Lena sucked in her bottom lip, which would have distracted Kara in any other situation, “maybe I thought I would be special enough to you that you would tell me. I know, that’s dumb, god I don’t even know why I told you this, it’s so embarrassing…”

“Hey,” Kara whispered in a soothing voice, pulling in Lena by the hand so she could throw an arm around her. “It’s not dumb. You _are_ special to me. And that’s exactly why I couldn’t tell you. If people knew that Supergirl cares about you, it’s going to be one more weakness they can exploit.”

Lena closed her eyes and snuggled up against Kara. “And now I feel stupid for doubting that you wouldn’t trust me.”

“Well, it’s not your fault…I admit I’m not good at lying…” Kara mumbled, weakly smiling when she felt Lena’s shoulders shake in a quiet laugh. “So, what gave me away?”

“Seriously?” Lena nudged her sides. “Your ‘disguise’ does nothing to hide who you are. At least, not to the people who already know you well. And your superhero costume could use some improvements too.”

“Huh,” Kara muttered, furrowing her brows. “My costume, you say.”

“Yes. Don’t you think that the cape could be impractical? And since we’re already talking about hidden identities – you might want to start using a mask.”

“Yeah, about that,” Kara pulled her arm back and turned to fully face Lena. “Do you think you can help me designing a new costume?”

 

\--

 

“You look,” Lena bit her bottom lip, swallowing, “nice. You look nice.”

Kara snorted in amusement. “Nice is not what I’m going after. It needs to be practical. Tactical.”

She turned in front of the mirror, trying to see every angle of her new supersuit. Technically, it was still a prototype and improvements were to be made as they discovered new problems. But it was the first sample that could keep up with Kara’s demands.

“Like a super soldier,” Kara muttered.

“Well, it is mostly military gear that you’re wearing.” Lena nodded in appreciation.

The idea had been to upgrade the supersuit with external layers of protection, not attempt to change the supersuit itself. So what was clinging to Kara’s skin right now was of the same material as her previous outfit, except it was in complete black. The external upgrade came in form of armor that Lena had designed to be flexible, so Kara could still move in them in superspeed. A thin kryptonite-proof vest was to be worn over the supersuit, more armor with the same material could be applied to her arms and legs, making her stature considerably broader and more intimidating.

“And now, my pride and joy,” Lena announced with a smirk, picking up the last missing piece to Kara’s new uniform. “The mask. Maximum protection, minimum obstruction. You can breathe freely in it, but I would suggest to go easy on the freeze breath in there. Haven’t worked out the kinks yet.”

Kara took the black mask and put it on. It covered the lower half of her face up to her nose, making her blue eyes stand out even more in contrast to the general dark colors of her outfit.

“There’s a comm integrated in there,” Lena explained. “It might be earth technology, but it’s still useful.”

Kara stared at herself in the mirror, seeing only her sharp eyes reflected. “Will my enemies fear me?”

“They’ll be terrified.”

“What about the civilians?”

“They’re going to love you no matter what.” Because that was how Lena felt. “Kara, you’re now so much better prepared to take on the world.”

“Good,” Kara mumbled. “I’m ready.” She turned to Lena and walked a few steps in her direction. “I feel more powerful already.”

Lena’s eyelids fluttered at the intense gaze she was being pierced with, well aware of the shortening distance between them. “There’s still…there’s still room for some design improvements. What about your crest?”

Kara removed her mask, showing the lopsided smile on her mouth. “I think I’d like to infuse the armor with some red. But I don’t need the ‘S’ anymore.”

“Why?” Lena’s eyebrows crinkled. But her curiosity faded when she realized that Kara was standing right before her, staring at her with a knowing smirk. “Kara?”

“I can feel your heartbeat, Lena,” Kara whispered, raising a gloved hand to cup Lena’s chin. She used a thumb to stroke her skin. “I never noticed it before, too worried about my own. But yours speeds up whenever I’m close to you.”

Lena shakily exhaled, trapped in Kara’s gaze. She leaned into the other woman’s touch. “And what are you going to do with that information?”

The corners of Kara’s mouth curled up into a satisfied smirk, eyes boring into Lena’s without blinking. There was a fire burning in them that Lena had never seen before, so fierce and passionate that for one second, Lena believed to have seen some red flare up in those blue orbs. Her gut instincts suddenly told her to back away from Kara as fast as possible. But her heart craved for the possibility of getting more, more of Kara’s touch, more of her attention.

“I believe I can use it to my advantage,” Kara murmured and she slowly leaned in, stopping short before meeting Lena’s lips. “May I?”

And it took every ounce of Lena’s strength to not just give in and close the rest of the distance between their lips. It nearly killed her to resist that desire. But something felt off, something about the Kara standing in front of her made her feel uneasy. And she never felt uneasy around Kara. 

“Wait,” her raspy voice breathed out, and she put her hands on Kara’s armored chest, pushing her away at an arm’s length. “Not like this. Let’s – let’s go on a date first, is that okay?”

If Lena had doubts before, then Kara’s reaction confirmed it. The blonde’s facial features had twisted into a grimace of annoyance.

“Why?” she hissed, brushing Lena’s hands off her chest and closing in on the other woman again. “You want me, don’t you?”

“I – I do, but not like this,” Lena almost tripped over her own feet when she tried to hastily back away, but Kara caught her and roughly pulled her close, pressing their bodies together. “Please, Kara, that’s not you, you wouldn’t-“

“Wouldn’t what?” Kara cut her off, barely blinking when Lena struggled against her iron grip. “What makes you think you know me?” 

“Please, Kara,” Lena desperately said, “you’re hurting me-“

And she was released in an instant. Unprepared and tired from the struggle, her weak knees caved in and she slid to the floor, panting.

“Lena?” Kara’s voice rang out, confused and insecure. “Lena!”

Dropping to her knees next to Lena, Kara wanted to check if the other woman was okay but as she reached out a hand, Lena scrambled away from her, eyes filled with fear.

Kara’s throat dried up. “Lena? What happened?”

“Kara, you…“ Lena couldn’t explain it herself. “Kara, there’s something wrong with you, you weren’t yourself for a minute-“ She gasped when she saw Kara’s eyes abruptly widening, watching as a trail of red mixed itself into the blue until the only color that dominated was of glowing blood. 

“Lena, you’ve always been too smart for your own good,” Kara drawled, standing up again. “If you had just ignored my secret, none of this would have happened. But to your credit, you made me see an opportunity that I’ve missed – yes, only you would be able to significantly improve Supergirl’s gear.”

She bent down to retrieve her black mask and put it on, her red eyes never leaving Lena’s. “Truly an underrated genius, you are.”

Lena pushed herself off the floor, slowly getting up on her feet. “You’re not going to kill me?”

Kara didn’t blink. “Why would I? You’re useful to me.”

“Not when I refuse to work for you,” Lena shakily said.

“Oh, I’m not worried about that,” Kara offhandedly said, adjusting the armor on her shoulder. “I still need you as a hostage.”

“Hostage?”

“Yeah,” Kara dusted off her shoulder. “In case the foolish part of me tries to break out again. As long as you are alive, she has a reason to behave. So, be a good girl and stay away from danger.”

And Kara turned to walk away.

“The foolish part of you?” Lena whispered to herself before her eyes widened. “She’s still in there…” She grabbed the nearest weapon she could find, which was a wrench, and she flung it at Kara’s head with all her strength.

It collided with the back of Kara’s head but aside from ruffling her hair, it had no impact on her at all. She halted her steps and slowly turned around, eyes flashing red.

“Do you have a death wish?” she growled, narrowing her eyes.

“What happened to Kara?” Lena pressed out between gritted teeth. “You’re not going to walk away with her body.”

“And who’s going to stop me?” Kara raised one eyebrow. “You? With what power?”

Lena smiled without humor. “You said yourself that I’m an underrated genius. What makes you think I don’t have maximum security in my labs?” She tilted her head up, shouting, “Activate emergency lockdown, authorized by Lena Luthor, verification code two-eight-nine-five!”

Sirens started blaring all around them and platinum shutters on all four sides rattled down, putting the entire lab under seal.

Kara instantly tried to use her laser beam to cut up a hole in the wall, but aside from leaving behind a black spot, the material didn’t give in.

“It’s futile,” Lena said, “you’re going to need hours to cut through that. But my security staff can see us through the surveillance cameras and they will have informed the DEO by now. They will be here within minutes.”

Letting out a furious roar, Kara destroyed every camera in the room with her laser gaze.

“Kara, listen, I know you’re in there somewhere,” Lena desperately said, taking steps towards Kara against her better judgement. “You can fight this.”

“Quiet,” Kara hissed, hovering above the floor to look taller and more threatening. “You’re not a genius. You’re a maniac. Risking your own life for someone you don’t even know would do the same for you.”

“It doesn’t matter,” Lena shook her head. “What I feel for her is my business. She doesn’t owe me anything.”

“That’s…ridiculous,” Kara mocked. “You would die for her even if she didn’t feel the same?”

Lena worked her jaw. “What business is it of hers if I love her? She never asked for this.”

Kara’s feet landed on the ground again. “You- you’re insane.”

“Tell me something new.”

“So if I killed you, you would let me?” Kara slowly said.

“Not without a fight, trust me,” Lena said, narrowing her eyes.

“I’d like to see you try,” Kara drawled, suddenly in front of Lena again through superspeed. Her hand shot up and wrapped itself around Lena’s throat, squeezing just enough to cut off her breath without instantly crushing her bones. “Still feel confident that you can stop me?”

“I’ve never felt more confident than now,” Lena wheezed, managing to muster up a smirk despite struggling to breathe.

Kara’s eyes twitched. “What makes you say that?”

Lena closed her eyes, still smiling. “Because you can’t even tell me to shut up. You’re too willing to talk to me for someone who’s trying to kill me, you respond to everything I say even when you deep down know that I’m trying to buy time.” She gasped for air, continuing to croak out, “And that’s how I know that Kara is still in there,” she coughed, “and she’s so much stronger than you and so much bigger than you. You’ll never reach a fraction of her strength.”

“Argh!” Kara let out a pained growl, pulling her hand back like she had burned herself. She sank to her knees and gasped for air, struggling with something Lena couldn’t see. “No, no, no, it’s impossible…”

“Kara!”

“Stay away,” Kara shouted in agony, holding her head. “Stay away…please…”

The walls around them started to rattle again and began moving back up, revealing dozens of DEO agents waiting behind doors and windows, guns ready.

“Breach!”

The agents stormed in and pointed their guns at Kara’s head, red laser beams indicating their aim. “Tranquilizer guns, fire!”

And Kara was struck with at least a dozen tranquilizer bullets in a dosage that would have been lethal for any other living being on earth. She collapsed on the floor, her body twitching and twisting, fighting against the poison in her blood that was robbing her of consciousness.

“Kara,” Lena held back a sob, unable to look away despite the crushing pain it gave her from watching Kara suffer.

“Luthor,” someone called her name, but Lena couldn’t tear her gaze off Kara, whose body was still convulsing weakly. “Luthor, are you okay? What happened?”

She felt a hand touch her shoulder and she instantly pushed it off herself, glaring up at a woman she vaguely recognized. “Please don’t touch me.”

“I’m sorry – my name’s Alex Danvers, from the DEO. We've met before.” Alex quickly scanned Lena’s appearance for any sign of injury. When there seemed to be none, she sighed in relief. Kara would have never forgiven herself if anything had happened to Lena. “You’re alright.”

Lena wiped at her eyes and glanced back at the spot where Kara was lying, now completely still. DEO agents were preparing to lift her onto a stretcher for transport. Her voice was barely above a whisper. “What did this to her?”

“We’re not sure yet but if I had to guess, I would say it’s red kryptonite.”

“Red kryptonite?” Lena repeated slowly. “What does it do to her?”

“It’s…unclear,” Alex said with a sigh. “We don’t have a lot of precedents to base our assumptions on and we’re not able to test it under lab conditions because we would have to put Supergirl under enormous stress and danger. It’s not worth it as red kryptonite is extremely rare.”

Lena took a deep breath, closing her eyes to calm herself and slowly go through everything that had happened in her mind. “It was a gradual transformation. I should have noticed it sooner…the moment she asked me if enemies were going to fear her…” She clenched her teeth together, rubbing her temple. “She isn’t someone who would care about that…she isn’t someone who would want to instill fear in anyone.”

“It’s not your fault. Red kryptonite needs time to spread. Someone must have infected her, then planted seeds of doubt in her mind. If she was susceptible to those doubts, then it wouldn’t be long until she would to adopt them as her own thoughts.”

“So…whatever those thoughts were…” Lena paused. “She must have considered them before the infection.”

“Exactly,” Alex said with a nod. “Red kryptonite enhances negative feelings. If someone was already scared or insecure, they would become angry and hateful because it gives them the illusion of power. They think they’re in control of their emotions when in reality, they just don’t understand them.”

“I see.” Lena inhaled deeply. “When can I see her again?”

“Tomorrow.” Alex handed Lena a card. “Call me on this number when you want to visit.”

“Thank you,” Lena whispered, genuinely grateful that she wasn’t being kept away from Kara. Alex could have mercilessly interrogated her about every detail leading up to Kara’s infection and she could have refused to disclose any information about red kryptonite, but she didn’t. It almost seemed like Alex wanted to include Lena in everything about Kara. She knew more about them than she let on.

“You’re welcome,” Alex smiled at her, and though it was a tired smile, it didn’t lack honesty. “If it weren’t for your quick thinking, the city would be in a lot of danger right now. You did a good job, Luthor.”

Lena weakly smiled. “Is it weird that this is the first time someone’s ever told me I’ve done a good job?”

Alex bit the insides of her cheeks, realizing for the first time that she was indeed in Lena Luthor’s presence. “It surely won’t be the last time.” She offered a hand to Lena. “I know you know everything about…Supergirl. So I might as well properly introduce myself."

Accepting the handshake, Lena looked up at Alex with confusion, unsure what the other woman meant with a proper introduction.

“Hi, I’m Alex Danvers,” Alex began, “and if you hurt my sister, I will hunt you down and kill you myself.”

And Lena could only smile back. “Lena Luthor, pleasure to meet you. Your warning has been duly noted.”

“Good.” Alex nodded. “See you tomorrow, Luthor.”

“See you tomorrow.”

 

\--

 

“How is she?”

“Stable. But beating herself up with regret.” Alex let out a sigh. “Nothing I say can convince her that it’s not her fault. I hate to admit it, but I think at this point, you’re the only one who can get through to her.”

Lena chewed on her bottom lip. “I want to talk to her.”

Alex opened the door to Kara’s medical bay. “She’s all yours. Well, not literally, just for the moment. She’s still my sister, so you better behave.”

Lena managed a small smile. “I’m better at sharing than most people would like to believe.”

“Well, I’m not, but you make her happy, so,” Alex gestured to the door. “Go.”

Nodding her thanks to Alex, Lena slowly entered the room and closed the door behind her.

“Lena!”

“Oh, Kara,” Lena breathed in relief upon seeing the blonde sitting upright in her bed, munching on a cereal bar. It was almost comical to see her puffed up cheeks full of food after having been almost strangled by a cruel version of the same person.

“I’m so sorry,” was the first thing Kara immediately blurted out, swallowing down the rest of her food and setting aside her unfinished cereal bar. She was making attempts to stand up, but Lena rushed to her side and pushed her down on the bed again.

“You need to rest,” Lena firmly said.

“Oh, okay,” Kara blinked up at her, feeling heat creeping up her neck. “I’m actually fine again. I think.” Her expression suddenly saddened. “Lena, I remember everything, and it feels like a bad dream. I know it was me who’s done and said all these horrible things to you, but at the same time, it wasn’t me-“

“I know,” Lena softly said, sitting down on the bed. “I know you wouldn’t hurt me.”

“But I still did,” Kara choked on her voice, looking up with watery eyes. “I’m so sorry, I didn’t have myself under control…”

“It wasn’t you, Kara,” Lena whispered, taking Kara’s hand into hers. “Alex told me all about it. I know it was the red kryptonite.”

“No, not entirely,” Kara said miserably, facing away. “I…Even before the infection, I’ve had moments where I wished…I wished I wasn’t Supergirl. Or Superman’s cousin. Because of him, people already made assumptions about me before they even knew me, but I couldn’t and didn’t want to live up to his name that is also a burden.”

“Kara…”

“Lena, I _wanted_ to be different,” Kara pressed out between gritted teeth. “I wanted to stand out on my own. Stand for something _I_ believed in, not what everyone else thought I should believe in.” She searched for Lena’s gaze, unafraid to meet her eyes even though her own were filled with insecurity and vulnerability. “But I don’t need to explain that kind of feeling to you, do I?” And Kara squeezed Lena’s hand.

Lena’s eyelids fluttered. “No. It’s all too familiar.”

“And I think that’s why – that’s why I came to you,” Kara muttered. “Even when I’m lost in a dark place, I know you would understand me. I think the ugly part of me knew that, too.”

“There is no ugly part of you,” Lena said gently, intertwining their fingers. 

Kara grinned at her. “There is. You’re just too pretty for the both of us.”

Chuckling, Lena poked Kara in the sides, eliciting a tiny squeal. “You must be feeling better now if you can joke again.”

“Hey,” Kara pouted, “I would never joke about your beauty.”

“And there you go again,” Lena whispered, already knowing about her own love-struck look without having to see it, “doing strange things to my heart. Can you hear it?”

Kara slowly nodded, looking up at her with a mischievous smile. “It’s…beating very fast. So…unless you’re going into a cardiac arrest, I would daresay that it’s attraction that’s elevating your pulse, Miss Luthor.”

“Shut up and kiss me, you nerd,” Lena muttered and leaned down, hungrily catching Kara’s lips between her own.

Moaning into the kiss, Kara grabbed Lena by the waist and effortlessly pulled her on top of her. Her senses were on overload, she didn’t even know what to focus on – Lena’s soft lips, her wandering hands or simply the fact that she had the most powerful CEO in National City straddling her on a bed?

“Kara,” Lena gasped against her lips, “I’m still human, I need to breathe-“

“Right, sorry,” Kara whispered, but she didn’t pull away, nibbling and kissing Lena’s throat as the other woman tried to catch her breath. “You smell so good,” she hummed against pale skin, closing her eyes. “You smell like home.”

“Huh,” Lena breathlessly panted, “I didn’t know Krypton smelled like a hundred dollars’ perfume.”

Kara gently bit into the flesh and sucked it in between her teeth, eliciting a small whimper. “I was trying to be romantic, Lena.”

“Sorry,” Lena let out a breathy chuckle, “please continue.”

“I wish I could,” Kara mumbled, leaving a trail of open-mouthed kisses on Lena’s throat, coming to a stop before her cleavage. “But seeing you like this, I can’t think of anything witty right now.”

“Then don’t think.” Lena grabbed Kara’s face and tilted her face up to meet her in a kiss. “Show me how you feel with your actions.”

“Please don’t,” a dry voice interrupted them and Lena was almost shoved off the bed when Kara sat up in panic.

“Alex?”

“Luthor, I said you can ‘get through to her’, not ‘get _on_ her’. Now get off my sister before I call the police.”

“Alex!”

 

**Author's Note:**

> EDIT: yeah, the red k was with the criminal even if I didn't explicitly write it, it's hidden from Kara after all and meant to be sneaking up on you....


End file.
